I`ve been a bit absent in the last few months and there`s a reason for it. With this post I`ll try to explain what I mean with that. I usually give advice in my articles on places to see and visit. But I think it`s also important to have those practical tips when traveling and think this article can help out others who might find themselves in the same position one day.
When you`re an avid traveler you meet lots of people all over the world. One of the risks (or joys!) is falling in love with a foreigner. And don`t get me wrong, it`s wonderful! But let`s be honest, in reality it also means some difficulties that you have to overcome. Unfortunately we still don`t live in a world where everyone just gets along and you can live and/or do as you please. There`s still laws and visas that you have to take into account. So let me start my story…
I met my (now) fiance (yes, that happened in that time frame I was absent as well!) over two years ago via our mutual love for travel. After chatting for hours, as it seems that`s what you do a lot when in a long distance relationship, we started dating. And I do see us as one of the lucky ones when it came to distance. I was in Belgium and he in London. With the Eurostar we were only a few hours from each other. Because I`m a travel blogger, the good thing about my job is, I can do it from anywhere as long as I have internet. Again, we were more fortunate than others who have to make due with only vacation days and weekends. Having the option of moving around, I ended up staying in London more and more until his working-holiday visa ran out. At this point we were 6 months into our relationship.
This is the first time we were confronted with reality, what were we going to do? As he`s an Aussie, it was either going back to Australia or trying to make it work in Belgium. We went for a third option, applying for a work-visa to stay in London. For this he had to go back to Australia to get the paperwork sorted and I tagged along to meet the family! Unfortunately things fell through with the work visa. Bummer, what next? This is where the difficulties start. You start to realize that visa procedures are not easy.
And I have to rant a little bit about this. I came across so many articles of people saying they just packed up their lives and moved abroad as if it was nothing. Sorry, but it`s not that easy! Yes, you might be one of the few that have double nationalities and just have to pick and choose where to live. Or you`re still young (lucky you) and can apply for student visas and working working-holiday visas. (Btw I would definitely recommend it, as I regretted it afterwards not doing it. So many countries open their doors for you to have that unique experience so embrace it). But if you`re over 30 years old there`s a lot of research that goes into finding a solution. Okay, end rant! Let`s focus on the good things.
We looked into getting a visa for either Belgium or Australia, but both countries required us to be longer together than we were at that time to be able to apply. So we decided to travel the world together and were fortunate to explore the USA, saw more of Australia and Belgium, and had the opportunity to live in Ireland for a few months.
Fast forward to almost two years into the relationship, we started to discuss how nice it would be having a place of our own where we could start a family. We looked at both countries, Belgium and Australia and had to make a decision. We both had good arguments for our own countries. Belgium has chocolates, fries, beer and not to mention my friends and family. But of course friends and family was also a point my fiance pointed out as important to him. Australia has sunshine, beaches and a laid-back lifestyle. So how do you decide?
This is where I struggled the most. To move or not to move, that was the question. It wasn`t so much my country I was tied to but my friends and family mean the world to me. How do you leave them? I searched hours on the internet for stories, asked people in the same position how they managed it and talked about it endlessly. But at some point you have to make a decision or you`re not going anywhere.
So this is the decision we made: we moved to Australia! We`ll see how it goes and how I`ll cope, but at this stage we`ve applied for a defacto visa, are renting a house and in the middle of planning our wedding and all is good!
I will keep you posted with more updates and some practical tips on the visa procedure. If you have any questions or find yourself in the same situation and just need some advice, feel free to comment below or contact me.
Oh I feel for you Isabelle. I left England to be with Dave and got married in South Africa, and we’ve travelled the world with his job ever since. Leaving my family was so hard and I have to say that it’s worse now my Mum isn’t able to just hop on a plane and visit us anymore. But would I have changed anything – probably not. Love conquers a lot of things, and even makes you a little blind too. I’ve loved living in different countries, but never lost the guilt about leaving family and friends in England. I hope you come to balance things in your life, and that you fall in love with Australia – because it’s great having you here!
Hi Johanna, thanks for stopping by. That is one of my worst fears as well, what happens when my parents get sick or can`t come over anymore? This and a few other things were what kept me from making the decision. But then again, no one can predict life and I`ll just have to take it as it comes and hope it works out. Glad to hear though, you wouldn`t have changed it. And it is wonderful being here!
Definitely a risk that a traveler takes! Best wishes to you both, hope Australia brings you joy and a visa!
Thanks Jeanette! Fingers crossed for that visa 😉
Typed out a much longer comment but then had public writing shyness!
Wishing you all the best – and remember that there are people about who do know how hard it can be to move and live abroad & who get the ups and downs. You’re never alone – but you’re right, you have to make a decision at some point, which you’ve done and now it’s time to enjoy it and make the best of it!
As you say, no one can predict life so go throw a shrimp on the barbie and catch up with some more 80s Aussie slang 🙂
LOL Really public writing shyness huh? 😉 Thanks for the well wishes, it`s nice to always have people you can rely on. And you should really come visit and use some of that Aussie slang here!
Aww it must have been tough trying to make a decision like that! I totally understand what you mean. It wasn’t difficult for me to leave Singapore because I was young then and wanted to see the world so badly. But now each time I go home, I leave a little part of me there. Anyhow, going through challenges like these together only make your relationship stronger. See you very soon!
It definitely wasn`t an easy decision, especially as I`m not in my early twenties anymore 🙂 But I do agree, I feel we do have a stronger relationship because of it. Can`t wait to catch up!
For a year now I have been with someone who is very tied to NYC and to staying here. While I like it sometimes, it’s been more difficult for me than I’d imagined and now that’s affecting us. I always have one foot out the door because as much as I love him (desperately at times), I also have an incapability of standing still for too long.
I have seen how hard it has been for you two to make this work and I am proud of you for going through that together and allowing it to make you grow closer, not be dragged further apart. It’s an inspiration to me. And I very much wish you two all the best. I only, selfishly, wish you’d chosen Belgium because it’s closer to me 😉 haha
XOXO
Thanks Kirsten! You know, Australia might be further away but the beaches are nicer 🙂 You should come and visit. I hope you can find a balance between your time in NY and traveling, as being with the one you love is worth it.
You’re back! Wheyyyy. Great post. I can relate to your circumstances having made the decision to move to Madeira recently. It’s something that me and Sofia talked about but good thing was that we did not rush into it…it happened gradually. It’s a big challenge- new culture, language, customs, food….. even though we are in Europe, Madeira feels like a world away….so I’ve been slowly coming to grips with the change but Sofia and her family have been so supportive throughout the whole process. Plus when you’ve been living out of a backpack for so long, it’s kind of strange adjusting to the everyday lifestyle. End of the day, am a better person for doing this….life throws so many challenges at you and this is another challenge. I am lucky that it’s still relatively easy for me to get around… I look forward to more updates from your new life and also details of the big day! When is it all happening….. Tourism Australia going to sponsor us all to hop over?
Thanks Kash! Lovely to hear you moved permanently to Madeira and are enjoying everyday life there. Hope to catch up with you both soon.